God of the Watch

Three years ago, while the world reeled from the world-wide COVID virus epidemic, my wife and I learned that she had breast cancer.  We later found that the cancer had spread–first to her lymph nodes and then to her reproductive system.  The following months would involve a lumpectomy, a full hysterectomy, a regimen of chemotherapy, and several rounds of radiation.

When we first learned of her diagnosis, I remember feeling bewildered. I think we were in shock. The rapid increase in doctor visits and new stream of people into our lives kept us from thinking too much about what we were up against.  But as the weeks went on, the sense of dread became almost overwhelming.  I say “almost” because I knew that the Lord was in control.  Life didn’t spiral. Instead, we recognized this as something that we were being allowed to go through. 

In the back of our minds was a lingering specter what might happen.  But we also recognized that we had a choice to make.  Our first choice was to succumb to the fear.  We could worry and doubt, shake our fists at the sky, and live each day clinging to whatever “hope” the doctors could give us.  Our second choice was to trust the Lord, recognize His sovereignty, and diligently seek whatever He was wanting to impart to us through the experience (no matter what happened in the end).

After the tears were shed, we decided to place our trust not in a prognosis, but in the Person of Jesus Christ.  Like Peter in the storm, rather than being distracted by a raging sea of indicators, calcium levels, and tumor sizes, we vowed to keep our eyes locked on the loving eyes of our King.  We chose to remain totally dependent on His provision, wherever that would lead.


Thankfulness is a funny thing.

This time of year, we’re often asked to talk or think about what we’re thankful for.  Some are thankful for their families and friends.  Some are thankful for their jobs and health.  We might be thankful for that tax refund or avoiding some tragedy.  Sometimes we say we’re “blessed”. 

But deep down inside, are we truly thankful or simply feel “fortunate” for what we have? 

The world will tell us these are the same thing.  But whereas fortune can be attributed to dumb luck, being thankful implies that there’s someone to thank.  Thankfulness demands that we return appreciation to someone who didn’t have to give, but did.  

In the post Drinking from the Source, I explained the importance of not being terminally occupied with instruments that merely channel divine Life.  While church sermons, expressions of kindness, and even scripture may contain divine Life, they are not the source of that Life.  While recognizing the life in these things, we push beyond them to seek the Source of that life, who is the Lord. 

From His Life flows His grace

His grace includes the blessings, gifts, and provision that He extends to those of His choosing according to His will.  Scripture clearly tells us that every good and perfect gift ultimately comes from the Father (James 1:17). 

But do we really believe this?  Deep down, do we ask questions things like…

Did the Lord bless me with my pay raise, or was it due to my own hard work and determination?” or

Does the Lord gift me with my health, or was it all about genetics and exercise?” or

“Does the Lord cleanse us of disease, or is it all about science and modern healthcare?”

While scripture is clear, our thoughts might betray us as we consider what part our choices, circumstances, and luck play into those blessings.  The more responsibility we accept to affect our outcomes, the more anxious we will become.  Then when we’re confronted with a problem we can’t handle, we succumb to hopelessness.

This is not the freedom that Christ has given us.

Three Paths of God’s Provision

To shed some light on such doubt, let me share a few thoughts.  In my view there are three paths through which the Lord provides His gifts and blessings.

First, I believe He extends grace by His personal and direct engagement

This kind of work can take many forms, but a good example is where He chooses to heal someone miraculously from a physical or spiritual problem where there is no other explanation. 

Of course, there are many today that believe that God no longer engages us directly.  Some function as deists who simply deny that God interacts with His creation.  Some base this belief on an improper interpretation of 1 Corinthians 13:8-10.  They may not have witnessed God’s direct involvement and may assume it simply doesn’t happen anymore.  Others might cite James 1:6, Matthew 13:58 or similar verses and suggest a lack of provision due to a lack of faith on someone’s part.  While there are good reasons why the Lord might withhold His miracle, there’s no scripture to suggest that He no longer engages in them.  I personally know trustworthy people who have witnessed miracles.  They will tell you that Jesus is still very much engaged in the direct work of healing and restoration.

Second, I believe He extends grace through His church

By “church”, I mean normal, everyday believers like you and I.  Sometimes grace extends through individuals and sometimes it happens through groups.  But in either case, it involves the willingness of His disciples to listen closely and follow their Lord into works of love and sacrifice for others.  To be clear, it’s the Lord who is still doing the work.  He’s just doing it through the hands and feet of those in whom He dwells—those who hear and follow Him (John 10:27), who keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25), and who have chosen to partake in the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4).

Lastly, I believe He extends grace through His sovereign will.

Where He doesn’t engage others directly or through His church, He may choose to arrange the universe in such a way as to bring about specific blessings and gifts.  With regard to specific outcomes, He may not always cause them or force them, but sometimes allows them by way of circumstances and subtle influences according to His Eternal Purpose. 

The Lord’s sovereign will is also referred to as His “hidden will”.  This is because it’s impossible to know what it will involve until after it happens.  This means there’s nothing that anyone needs to try to do (or not do) to bring it about—it will just happen.  It can’t be avoided. 

One example of the Lord’s grace through his sovereign will might be when an income tax error is discovered in your favor and you receive a refund that you desperately needed.  Another example might be when your insurance company changes its mind about covering a procedure that you needed to have done.  For the non-believer, these kinds of things can be chalked up to luck, coincidence, or policy.  But for His followers, we can thank the Father who is the source and prime mover of every good gift.

The Role of Vessels

So, while His grace takes different paths to reach us, we can be assured that every blessing, gift, and provision always originates with the Lord. 

But going back to our original question, how much do things like the decisions we make, the effort we put forth, or the favorable circumstances we find ourselves in factor into the blessings we receive?

I’m not saying they aren’t a factor.  However, I wouldn’t say they’re causal either.  In other words, we’re not directly blessed from the decisions we make, our effort, or our circumstances.  Rather, these things are merely the vessels through which the Lord’s grace operates.  His provision flows through them.  If He has given us a blessing, sometimes we may be required to manifest it through our own action.  Conversely, if He hasn’t given us the blessing, we will never receive it, no matter how hard we might work, what tactics we use, or what levers we manipulate to get it. 

Even the most skilled sailboat operator is nothing without the wind.

While my wife and I were dealing with cancer, the Lord directed my attention to the following scripture which I think does a great job clarifying the relationship between the vessel and the Source:

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the watchman stays awake in vain.

Psalm 127:1 (ESV)

Look closely at this passage.  As I’ve mentioned before, there is incredible tension in the Kingdom of God:  Are we building the house or does the Lord?  Do we watch over the city or does the Lord?  While building a house and setting the watch are necessary, success or failure always depends on the Lord’s involvement.

The same could be said of our employment, possessions, relationships, security, health, and well-being.  While the outward actions of hard work and wise choices may look the same, the difference lies in where we ultimately place our trust.  Are we placing it in things like skill, expertise, education, intelligence, relationships, circumstances, and resources, or are we completely and radically dependent on the grace of Christ that may (or may not) flow through them? 

To the degree that the doctors were useful, the Lord was “in” the skill and expertise of our healthcare providers.  To the degree that the medicine was successful, the Lord was “in” her chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

The fact that my wife is alive and well today is an incredible blessing that the Lord didn’t have to give us.  Throughout the ordeal, we had several friends who were actively engaged in intercessory prayer for my wife’s healing and restoration. We’re also blessed with a team of amazing doctors and surgeons who we thank regularly from the deepest part of our hearts.  But while we were tempted to put our ‘hope’ in the resources of the healthcare system, we fixed our eyes on the Lord as the ultimate source of grace and mercy.   We trusted Him to supply His provision through the instruments of His choosing (whether clinical or miraculous).

To stand squarely in the Lord’s sufficiency is the difference between a life of worry, fear, and anxiety and a life of rest and peace. 

Image credit: Billy Wilson on Flickr under CC BY-NC 2.0 Deed

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